Macho Macho Mac


Always wanted to dress your iPod collection up as The Village People? Well, wait no more! Those zanies over at iAttire have just what you need.

Here we see a full-size iPod sporting the ‘Cowboy’ character. All you need is some scissors and a (very) steady hand to make those into crotchless chaps.

There’s a whole range of outfits, including the quintessential Beret as well as Pirate and Princess.

Funny stuff.

MS Word Attack


0xbl00d writes “ is reporting a new Microsoft Word zero-day attack underway. Microsoft issued a security advisory to acknowledge the unpatched flaw, which affects Microsoft Word 2000, Microsoft Word 2002, Microsoft Office Word 2003, Microsoft Word Viewer 2003, Microsoft Word 2004 for Mac and Microsoft Word 2004 v. X for Mac. The Microsoft Works 2004, 2005 and 2006 suites are also affected because they include Microsoft Word. Simply opening a word document will launch the exploit. There are no pre-patch workarounds or anti-virus signatures available. Microsoft suggests that users ‘not open or save Word files,’ even from trusted sources.”

Good grief.

Someone tell me again WHY the business world loves Microsoft?

It’s like the old bear/hunter joke: ‘You don’t come here for the hunting, do ya?’

Fire and Water


Oh man… that has GOT to hurt. That’ll teach him to go easy on the hot sauce… woooeeee!!


Ah, beer. It’s not just for breakfast anymore. I’m sure he’s a big hit at boat shows.

Pillar of Light

My grandmother was the strongest woman I’ve ever met. She lived in Vandergrift, PA – a steeltown that subsequently struggled after WWII. Depression, war, house fire – life was NOT easy with three daughters after her husband collapsed and died on the steps of the steel plant after a sunday shift. She went on. I always admired her humor and her iron will, which I saw clearly in my mother. She was such a survivor. I’m certain her spirit lives on.

Emily Rowe-Snyder

Pillar of Light

Within my heart there is a room
where you shall always live,
a place that I will visit
when thanks I wish to give.

For strength that knew no boundries
for love that had no fear
for arms forever open
to draw her loved ones near.

Faith that was unshaken
by adventures manifold
Fire unmistaken
in stories often told.

Ashlar of our family
keystone of our world
always there to listen
as our lives unfurled.

She built a mighty edifice
against eternal night
within us now, her strength remains
as pillars of pure light.

MDW 1/4/01

For my Grandmother

My cousin Joe, whom I mention in other places, read this at my Grandmother’s funeral. I heard a recording of it and he did it real justice. I could tell he was terrifically moved by it, as was intended – I’m certain the audience was too. I’m deeply indebted to Joe for doing that since I was unable to attend and this was my final elegy to her. Whatever our differences may be, he has my undying thanks for that act. No small task and he did it with great honor. Thanks Joe. I’ll never forget that.


If you’ve never heard this song by the man who made the song ‘Convoy’ famous, you’re in for a treat. Same ‘storyteller’ style but very fast, complicated ‘lyrics’ (it doesn’t really rhyme) and hilarious story. Get a copy of the MP3 from somewhere, then sit down and TRY to follow along. I dare ya. How he managed to remember this entire saga is a feat unto itself. Definitely transcends the typical Country/Western genre.

Dark Cow

Three rings for the elven cows under the sky

Seven for the dwarf cows in their stalls of stone

Nine for McDonald’s cows, doomed to die

One for the Dark Cow on her Dark Throne

In the Land of Moodor where the milkshakes fly

One Cow to rule them all, One Cow to bilk them

One Cow to bring them all and in the darkness milk them

In the Land of Moodor where the milkshakes fly

Injured Police Sue Taser

From The Arizona Republic

Police in 5 states sue Taser in past 2 weeks (note – this story first appeared in 2005 -MDW)

Robert Anglen

The Arizona Republic

Aug. 20, 2005 12:00 AM Police officers in five states filed lawsuits against Scottsdale-based Taser International over the past two weeks claiming they were seriously injured after being shocked with the electronic stun gun during training classes.

Stunning Revelations

Reposted From In These Times

November 13, 2006

Stunning Revelations

The untold story of Taser-related deaths

By Silja J.A. Talvi

TASER International Inc. maintains that its stun-guns are “changing the world and saving lives everyday.” There is no question that they changed Jack Wilson’s life. On Aug. 4, in Lafayette, Colo., policemen on a stakeout approached Jack’s son Ryan as he entered a field of a dozen young marijuana plants. When Ryan took off running, officer John Harris pursued the 22-year-old for a half-mile and then shot him once with an X-26 Taser. Ryan fell to the ground and began to convulse. The officer attempted cardiopulmonary resuscitation, but Ryan died.

Humans, the other white meat

From Table of Malcontents: Robot Identifies Human Flesh as Bacon

“Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon … Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses … like ‘tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.’ But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot’s omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.”

I’ll never reach up into a vending machine again. ::shudder!::

Suddenly all those glowing red lights in my office aren’t nearly as comforting.

The Tale of Custard the Dragon

Belinda lived in a little white house,
With a little black kitten and a little grey mouse,
And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,
And the little grey mouse, she called her Blink,
And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,
But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.

Custard the dragon had big sharp teeth,
And spikes on top of him and scales underneath,
Mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose,
And realio, trulio daggers on his toes.

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Belinda tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful,
Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival,
They all sat laughing in the little red wagon
At the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.

Belinda giggled till she shook the house,
And Blink said Weeck! which is giggling for a mouse,
Ink and Mustard rudely asked his age,
When Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Suddenly, suddenly they heard a nasty sound,
And Mustard growled, and they all looked around.
Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Belinda,
For there was a pirate, climbing in the winda.

Pistol in his left hand, pistol in his right,
And he held in his teeth a cutlass bright,
His beard was black, one leg was wood;
It was clear that the pirate meant no good.

Belinda paled, and cried Help! Help!
But Mustard fled with a terrified yelp,
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the household,
And little mouse Blink strategically mouseholed.

The pirate gaped at Belinda’s dragon,
And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets, but they didn’t hit,
And Custard gobbled him, every bit.

Belinda embraced him, Mustard licked him,
No one mourned for his pirate victim.
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
Around the dragon that ate the pyrate.

But presently up spoke little dog Mustard,
I’d have been twice as brave if I hadn’t been flustered.
And up spoke Ink and up spoke Blink,
We’d have been three times as brave, we think,

And Custard said, I quite agree
That everybody is braver than me.

Belinda still lives in her little white house,
With her little black kitten and her little grey mouse,
And her little yellow dog and her little red wagon,
And her realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Belinda is as brave a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chase lions down the stairs,
Mustard is as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard keeps crying for a nice safe cage.

Ogden Nash 1902-1971

The Tale of Custard the Dragon (pdf, 12K)

Beer Prayer

I can’t take credit for this wonderful prayer. I just neatened it up and put it in a standard format for your printing pleasure. Enjoy!

The Beer Prayer

Our Lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy Drink.

Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
at home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
and forgive us our spillage,
as we forgive those who spill upon us.

And lead us not into incarceration,
but deliver us from hangovers.

For thine is the beer,
the bitter,
and the lager.


Beer Prayer Thumbnail

Beer Prayer (PDF, 516Kb)


Severe Injury Warning Label

Saw this on a concrete-pumper truck control panel. I think this is the most graphic warning label I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen a few). Definitely would leave a mark.

Nine Years at the Mast

Just did a network analysis for a Mac-based client and found nine-year-old Mac hardware quietly working away in the backroom.

9 years x 40 work weeks x 5 day work week x 8 hour day is over 14,000 hours with virtually no maintenance. In an office with *no* computer-savvy staff.

Try that with a crop of Dells.

Elegy for my Aunt


So close we share blood
your sister my mother
lives intertwined
our families blurring together

In the wheel of faces
yours is brightly lit
always smiling
always kind

Echoes of you stand near
children of your heart
adoring husband – his arm bare
yet you are here

I hear your voice
speaking through your children
and they hear the echo too
your face in their mirrors

Gentle heart I wish you well
I was proud to know you
and more proud
to be family

For my Aunt Bobby
MDW 2006


When I first started communicating with Marilyn (who was to become my wife) I realized that I had found someone who really spoke to my inner child, which had faded to a near-wraith after seventeen years of marriage to an alcoholic.

Just and True

My father was not always my best friend – he still isn’t. However, he did give me a lot of good advice and was as good a father as he could be. He never lied to me or backed away from a challenge in life. Here’s my thanks for that.

Just and True

When I was a young man
my father spoke to me
in words of measured wisdom
he tried to make me see

That life is hard and painful
a place to serve and work
to always do my very best
and never turn or shirk

and if I did the best I could
rewards would come to me
for nothing in this life he said
would ever come for free

As I grew up I questioned this
as young men always do
until I learned the hard way
that what he said was true

The upward path is always hard
and shortcuts mean defeat
cause no one likes a liar
and no one loves a cheat

But on that path you find the friends
that make your life worthwhile
I hear you now George Parker
I hope this makes you smile!

The only thing I really own
is what I learned from you
Always do your very best
Be always Just and True.

with love for my dear father
your son Douglas

6/97 MDW

Illustrated PDF (200k)