Category Archives: Musings

Injured Police Sue Taser

From The Arizona Republic

http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/local/articles/0820taser20.html

Police in 5 states sue Taser in past 2 weeks (note – this story first appeared in 2005 -MDW)

Robert Anglen

The Arizona Republic

Aug. 20, 2005 12:00 AM Police officers in five states filed lawsuits against Scottsdale-based Taser International over the past two weeks claiming they were seriously injured after being shocked with the electronic stun gun during training classes.

Continue reading Injured Police Sue Taser

Stunning Revelations

Reposted From In These Times

http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/2894/

November 13, 2006

Stunning Revelations

The untold story of Taser-related deaths

By Silja J.A. Talvi

TASER International Inc. maintains that its stun-guns are “changing the world and saving lives everyday.” There is no question that they changed Jack Wilson’s life. On Aug. 4, in Lafayette, Colo., policemen on a stakeout approached Jack’s son Ryan as he entered a field of a dozen young marijuana plants. When Ryan took off running, officer John Harris pursued the 22-year-old for a half-mile and then shot him once with an X-26 Taser. Ryan fell to the ground and began to convulse. The officer attempted cardiopulmonary resuscitation, but Ryan died.

Continue reading Stunning Revelations

Humans, the other white meat

From Table of Malcontents: Robot Identifies Human Flesh as Bacon

“Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon … Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses … like ‘tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.’ But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot’s omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.”

I’ll never reach up into a vending machine again. ::shudder!::

Suddenly all those glowing red lights in my office aren’t nearly as comforting.

The Tale of Custard the Dragon

Belinda lived in a little white house,
With a little black kitten and a little grey mouse,
And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,
And the little grey mouse, she called her Blink,
And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,
But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.

Custard the dragon had big sharp teeth,
And spikes on top of him and scales underneath,
Mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose,
And realio, trulio daggers on his toes.

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Belinda tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful,
Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival,
They all sat laughing in the little red wagon
At the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.

Belinda giggled till she shook the house,
And Blink said Weeck! which is giggling for a mouse,
Ink and Mustard rudely asked his age,
When Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Suddenly, suddenly they heard a nasty sound,
And Mustard growled, and they all looked around.
Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Belinda,
For there was a pirate, climbing in the winda.

Pistol in his left hand, pistol in his right,
And he held in his teeth a cutlass bright,
His beard was black, one leg was wood;
It was clear that the pirate meant no good.

Belinda paled, and cried Help! Help!
But Mustard fled with a terrified yelp,
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the household,
And little mouse Blink strategically mouseholed.

The pirate gaped at Belinda’s dragon,
And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets, but they didn’t hit,
And Custard gobbled him, every bit.

Belinda embraced him, Mustard licked him,
No one mourned for his pirate victim.
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
Around the dragon that ate the pyrate.

But presently up spoke little dog Mustard,
I’d have been twice as brave if I hadn’t been flustered.
And up spoke Ink and up spoke Blink,
We’d have been three times as brave, we think,

And Custard said, I quite agree
That everybody is braver than me.

Belinda still lives in her little white house,
With her little black kitten and her little grey mouse,
And her little yellow dog and her little red wagon,
And her realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Belinda is as brave a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chase lions down the stairs,
Mustard is as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard keeps crying for a nice safe cage.

Ogden Nash 1902-1971

The Tale of Custard the Dragon (pdf, 12K)

Beer Prayer

I can’t take credit for this wonderful prayer. I just neatened it up and put it in a standard format for your printing pleasure. Enjoy!

The Beer Prayer

Our Lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy Drink.

Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
at home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
and forgive us our spillage,
as we forgive those who spill upon us.

And lead us not into incarceration,
but deliver us from hangovers.

For thine is the beer,
the bitter,
and the lager.

Barmen


Beer Prayer Thumbnail

Beer Prayer (PDF, 516Kb)

Elegy for my Aunt

Echoes

So close we share blood
your sister my mother
lives intertwined
our families blurring together

In the wheel of faces
yours is brightly lit
always smiling
always kind

Echoes of you stand near
children of your heart
adoring husband – his arm bare
yet you are here

I hear your voice
speaking through your children
and they hear the echo too
your face in their mirrors

Gentle heart I wish you well
I was proud to know you
and more proud
to be family

For my Aunt Bobby
MDW 2006

Just and True

My father was not always my best friend – he still isn’t. However, he did give me a lot of good advice and was as good a father as he could be. He never lied to me or backed away from a challenge in life. Here’s my thanks for that.

Just and True

When I was a young man
my father spoke to me
in words of measured wisdom
he tried to make me see

That life is hard and painful
a place to serve and work
to always do my very best
and never turn or shirk

and if I did the best I could
rewards would come to me
for nothing in this life he said
would ever come for free

As I grew up I questioned this
as young men always do
until I learned the hard way
that what he said was true

The upward path is always hard
and shortcuts mean defeat
cause no one likes a liar
and no one loves a cheat

But on that path you find the friends
that make your life worthwhile
I hear you now George Parker
I hope this makes you smile!

The only thing I really own
is what I learned from you
Always do your very best
Be always Just and True.

with love for my dear father
your son Douglas

6/97 MDW

Illustrated PDF (200k)

Thousand Suns

Thousand Suns

There is a fire that burns
with the heat of a thousand suns
I have walked through this inferno
Shadrach is my name

Like the sun in the sky it burns
silent but relentless
now the fire is within me
Meshach is my name

Honor tends this furnace
blows the coals white-hot
no impurities survive here
Abendego is my name

Every atom of my being
sings this fierce paean
I have lived to tell this tale
Douglas is my name

To my friends I beckon, come close
let the furnace protect you
To my foes I beckon, come close

The fire still burns

With the heat of a thousand suns.

MDW 1/95

Illustrated PDF (44K)